I’ve always felt like I am the least romantic person in the world.
And I feel awful about that.
I especially feel bad for Zachary because of it. He’s just this big natural at being shamelessly sweet and mushy and romantic in anybody’s idea of the concept. I’m always afraid he might think I don’t appreciate it.
I do. I’m just terrible at showing and reciprocating it.
Zachary is shameless. (Shamelessly shameless.)
I am extremely awkward. Easily embarrassed.
I appreciate him and all his romantics, but often find myself responding with an eye-roll; it’s like this coping mechanism I can’t help. I don’t like that I do that. I get frustrated at myself.
(God, thank you for somebody who is so secure in who he is, who does understand that I am shy, and doesn’t ever take it personally.)
It is as if there is this widely accepted standard all around me of what is deemed romantic, but I just don’t get it. I mean, I understand it. But can I fit into it? Nope, I fall flat on my face. It just doesn’t work for me.
Does anybody else struggle with romantic standards?
Well, I’ve got a little story from last night to share, to warm your hearts. This incident happened to be a little episode of self-discovery for me. It made me cry and reminded me about the importance of a little something called a Love Language.
Last night was date night.
Which meant Mojo’s Cafe, (of course!) We spent time together before heading over to Panera for dinner. Before going in to eat, however, we went walking through some of the surrounding shops while he searched for a new pair of sneakers. Because I had come directly from class that evening, I only had my backpack, and not my purse. Zack offered to carry my bulky wallet for me because his coat pockets were bigger.
We walked, we goofed around, we had dinner– it was a very blessed evening.
Zachary told me he was intent on being home by 9 tonight, what with school and work in the morning.
So when the clock hit 8:30, we left Panera, said goodnight, and went our separate ways.
I was all the way back in Herkimer, parking my car when I realized. My wallet. Dang it. I was seriously low on gas.
No licence, no debit card, no student ID; all still in Zachary’s pocket.
“You….. have my wallet.” I texted him, “Don’t go too crazy.”
I went up stairs, let my hair down to get ready for bed.
Five minutes later I got a response, “Oh… that’s a problem. Want to come get it?”
“No way, I’ll run out of gas.” It was late, I couldn’t go all the way to Sauquoit. Plus, Bible Study would be tomorrow night anyway. I could wait it out and get it from him then.
Another response, “I’m only like 10 feet from you.”
Yeah, that’s when I ran downstairs, opened the door, and there was my sweetheart, holding my wallet.
He was supposed to be home, getting ready for a busy day tomorrow, and yet he had driven all the way after me just to return what he knew I needed.
And that, to me, is true romance.
That is what I call an act of Love.
Some people like to be showered with flowers and gifts and watch romantic movies together and get bragged about by their significant other on social media. If that’s your cup of tea, by no means do I mean to rain on your parade! That’s perfectly okay for you. I know I’ve had times when I craved to be like that, to be able to loosen up and show & receive affection the “regular” way.
But what Zachary did last night meant so much more to me than a billion of those. For me, romance is found in the practical things. The helpful gestures. The sacrificial actions. And that’s okay too. You know what? It’s more than okay– it’s excellent. Zachary went straight to my heart last night, and he needs to know that. Just like anyone should know when they’ve hit the nail on the head.
We need to make one another aware of successes. We should learn to detect and understand one another’s Love Language.
When last I took the test, I had two primary Love Languages– Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service. (So, I thrive on being verbally encouraged and shown Love through acts of thoughtfulness.) This is how I best receive Love, and it is also how I communicate it. Now, Zachary may typically receive Love another way, thus communicating it that same way. When we are able to recognize the differences in our “languages”, we can best communicate love to one another.
It is truly delightful to discover what fills your heart with the knowledge that you are loved, and even more wonderful to learn how you can effectively demonstrate that Love back to your sweetheart.
Last night, I knew I was Loved.
And I’ll take a meaningful memory like that over a material gift any day.
If you want to discover your Love Language, you can take the test here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/