My Journal

Journal | Fearless, Joyous, Strong

June 2nd, 2016

My dear friends,

I apologize for the long blogging hiatus. To be thoroughly open and honest, this girl had a whole bunch of spiritual junk to deal with for a bit. The thought life was in an uproar and I was not where I needed to be. So I stumbled and let it rock me before finally coming to my senses. 🙁

Guys, above all else, guard your hearts. It determines the course of your life. And do that by taking your thoughts captive. Because you’re so vulnerable when you entertain wrong thinking, and it opens the door to a flood of disaster and struggle. You don’t even notice until the consequences are already upon you. It is hard work to kick them out and clean house. Please save yourself the headache and take every thought captive, making it obedient to Christ. Cast down the imaginations and every high thing that rises up against the knowledge of Christ.

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Journal | Bind My Wandering Heart to Thee

January 14th, 2016

Last night was a night I needed.

Father, thank you for coming to me… for smiling quietly as I laid everything before You, again. Sometimes it just feels so good to cry, to let tears cleanse from the inside out.

I keep straying from the foundation of Grace.

Yes, you have given me instructions–to do good, to live a holy life, to Love and forgive as I have been Loved and forgiven. But you never intended for me to try and do these things on my own.

I keep slipping into the habit of striving to do the right thing… which leads to despair when I fail.

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Journal | Woodland Wandering

December 17th, 2015

Gray, pleasant December weather shrouds my homeland… no snow, no bitter cold, no icy roads. Not yet.

The world looks more like a subdued, colorless October– quiet and cool–with rainy days and some gusty winds.

I did not mean to be absent from my blog this month; I actually had about four posts under construction… yet they remain drafts. Life has been a bit busy, what with finals and Christmas preparations… and other things. I just felt no push to get anything posted, and decided that maybe I was meant to take December as a blogging break.

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Journal | Thankful, Grateful, Blessed

November 26th, 2015

I don’t think I’ve ever been at a point in life before where my blessings were as obvious as they are to me now.

I’ve always been able to look around and count them off:

–roof over my head
–food to eat
–family to love
–friends who care

Going through the motions, taking that one day a year to pause and dwell briefly on the “little things” I guiltily was aware that I took for granted… but didn’t everybody? And we did our part to stop and allow ourselves guilt about it for that one designated moment on that one designated day. Then we had been humbled adequately, and life went on.

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Journal | Peace, Be Still

November 20th, 2015

Lord, as I rocked the little child to sleep tonight, I recognized something.
I recognized that in those times I despair, and cannot be comforted, there is not one moment that You are not holding me in Your arms, whispering Your words to me, and trying to give me rest.

Blinded by my tears, I cannot look about the proverbial nursery, at the many framed memories on the walls, and see the proof of all You’ve brought me through. I forget the victories, forget the joys. Yet they are there, if I would only see.

You do not forsake me. I cry for answers, for affirmation– but I cannot hear You above the roar of my sobs. My tears are an ocean. I stare at the crashing waves.

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