You need to know something.
You, daughter of the King, in a godly and committed relationship.
These are the days you’ll miss.
And you may look forward with longing to your wedding day, you may dream of that sacred life together, you may spend some moments just wishing the time would hurry up and so you can be his wife, and raise a family, and life can be beautiful.
And yes, you know there will be hardships. You aren’t that naive. You know it won’t be easy.
But you just can’t wait. You can’t wait to get married and have a beautiful, strong, God-honoring marriage with the man you love. You can’t wait to have your own home, to welcome him home from work, to pray with him each morning as his wife, to experience the mysteries of intimacy you two cannot share just yet…
You’ve got it all kept in your heart, just bursting.
You’re waiting. And sometimes it hurts.
But you need to know something.
This period of your life is short and fleeting. It is a treasure and it is sacred.
And it is the most important.
You are building a foundation. Right now, this instant. Every little thing you say, every little thing you do. It’s what you are doing now, what you did yesterday, and what you will do tomorrow.
Be realistic. Right now.
The habits you have. The attitudes you exude. The thoughts you think. The characteristics you cultivate.
Are you who you are supposed to be?
I know I’m not… and I’ve been aware of what I need to change for 3 years. And I’ve been trying to work on myself… for 3 years. And more stuff just pops up.
Will I ever be perfect? Will I ever be ready? No.
Not in my own right.
But I have a Savior who died to make me whole. The broken bits I feel, they don’t exist anymore.
So why am I not perfect?
I still live as if I am bound to sin. I still mess up. Everyday!
I can toil and strain, but it won’t mean a thing if I don’t come to the throne of Grace.
Why am I not perfect, if He died and cleansed my Spirit? And also gave me is Holy Spirit to live in me?
Ah, I realize…my Spirit is saved… but my body and mind are still of this world.
And instead of fruitlessly trying to change them to be perfect, which they can never be, I need to cast off these things. I need to be dying to the body, to the mind. I need to be learning to live, think, walk, be in my Spirit. That is who I AM. Or who I could be, if I realized it.
We have such a huge opportunity, such potential to become, and yet we don’t even know it. We don’t know how, or why things just aren’t working like they should. We miss the solution.
The answer is surrender. The answer is not relying on your own understanding. The answer is walking in the Spirit, with the Lover of your soul.
The joining of two into one is a Holy and momentous thing. I think the best way to begin to understand just how sacred it is… is first to understand just how sacred you are.
Walk with Him first. Be whole in Him first. Build the foundation of your identity, your life, upon Him, the Rock. Who you were designed to be, who He says you are. You are complete in Him. And only in Him.
Do not think that you will find your purpose or worth through getting married, that a man just as human as you can do for you what God has already done, and is just waiting for you to reach out and accept.
Ready yourself. Find the truth, the whole truth, and stand firm upon it.
Do not rush. Do not wish away your life or pine for a day that is in God’s capable, loving hands. There is no harm in waiting. There are only blessings to be had! Use this time wisely to grow more than you have ever grown, to strengthen yourself in Christ. Be who you were created to be, and watch His amazing plan for your life unfold.
Women, lay your foundation wisely. What you do now, and who you allow yourself to be now is what you will bring to a marriage in the future. You’re deciding that for yourself today, this instant: what your marriage will be.
Marriage is an empty box at the beginning- you don’t get anything out of it. You put treasure into it. Make your treasures Spiritual, and build them up for yourselves in Heaven.
This is my advice to you, and to myself.